When two people, married or not, enter into a childbearing and childrearing period together, we can expect there be a change to the relationship.
What can families do and further…what can workplaces do… to support the growing family?
This is for each adult in the family and/or workplace. This goes for all genders. The data shows that all genders can be affected by postpartum depression and sleep deprivation.
As we add the third relationship (the child), the dynamics change. Anxiety Expert, Gen Morley, Therapist at North Boulder Counseling, takes us through some considerations we can keep in mind as we navigate this new stage with strong & healthy relationships. Click here or on the image to watch the 25 minute conversation. In our talk together, she discusses 3 important steps and I discuss how workplaces can support the growing family as well.
First step – Triage yourself
Focus on self care. What do YOU need as a parent and individual? For many, sleep is number one. Ask for help from your partner or from a Sleep Consultant.
What else do you need to feel good in a day? Is it to shower alone without kids by your feet? Do you need to reconnect to your hobbies or passions? Remember yourself as an individual and what matters to you.
Individual therapy can help tremendously with remembering your values during transition. Give yourself grace during this time.
Second step – Triage your partnership
Practice spending 5 minutes per day with your significant other talking about anything other than the children. Make sure each partner understands what the other person is thinking about, what scares them, and how they are coping with changing in this new stage of life.
If you need a prompt – look at your wedding photos together as a way to remember the relationship in a happy, more carefree time. Perhaps, reflect back on times you went through together and got stronger together, such as going through a NICU stay or overcoming something else.
“Gratitude and thank you’s” are essential. It’s easy to overlook the things we do for each other in partnerships, so get in the habit of speaking your gratitude to your partner for little things and it will change your brain to see positive things going right.
Third Step – Go to marriage therapy
Gen advises that “If you want to grow, change and get closer to your [significant other] person, you should go to therapy.”
Talk to your friends about their therapist and their marriages to demystify the facade that “everyone’s marriage is going better than yours”. Be vulnerable with close friends in order to better support one another.
Allow for the experience of both partners, so that the change of building a family can bring the individuals closer.
Click on the image below to hear our full discussion.
We have 2 more episodes planned on the topic of how sleep deprivation can cause or compound anxiety and other mental wellness challenges in both parents. Please watch episodes 1-3 . We’re going to give you tips on how to help yourself, your partner/friend and where you can reach out for professional support. We’ll discuss the symptoms and the resources available to help.
To reach Gen Morley, please visit northbouldercounseling.com or make an appointment at Gennifer@NorthBoulderCounseling.com or (720) 588-3174.
This is worth capitalizing and bolding: SHE CAN DO REMOTE SESSIONS, FROM THE COMFORT OF YOUR HOME AND WIFI CONNECTION. Please don’t hesitate to reach out to her.
I’d love to hear from you on this topic. If you have a question you’d like us to address, please leave a comment below or email sarah@throughthenightmethod.com .
Take care of YOU, mama!
Sarah